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A Tibetan folk tale:


"Uncle Tompa Plays a Trick on his New Wife"

Some time after his wife died, Uncle Tompa re-married.  Uncle's new wife was a pretty woman who liked to sleep with different men every time Uncle had to go away on business.  Uncle knew about this for some time.  Finally he decided to play a trick on her to make her stop.

One day Uncle was called upon by the governor of a different region to come there and weave fabrics for his family, since Uncle was very good at that.  He left his wife at home and went to the governor in the other region.

Uncle spent a few months at that place making fabrics.  The governor was very pleased with his work and asked, "Do you want to come and settle here?  I can give you work for as long as you want to stay here."

Uncle showed interest, but said, "Your Lordship!  I would very much like to move here, but there is one problem which must be solved first.  Perhaps you can help."

"What is the problem?", asked the governor.

Uncle replied, "My wife is a very pretty woman, so many men like to sleep with her.  But whoever sleeps with her gets killed, except me!"

"Why is this so?"

"My wife has something very unusual.  A snake lives in her asshole and comes out and bites whoever makes love to her, aside from myself!  That snake has already killed several people in my village, so I am afraid this might happen here also."

The governor said, “I shall gather my people and give them a warning about this.  That should convince them to not bother her.”

Uncle agreed with this plan, and he decided to move there.  Soon after, Uncle went back to his village to pick up his wife and possessions.  While he was gone, the governor called the people together and issued a decree that other men should be especially careful to not sleep with Uncle's wife.

When Uncle returned home, he told his wife that they were moving to a new village, where it would be much easier for him to work for a living.  As  they continued talking, he suddenly said, "Do you know about a strange thing all the men have there?"

"No, what is that?", she asked.

"All the men there have double penises."

His wife could not believe him and wanted to see for herself.

Finally, they moved to the new village.  Because of his work, Uncle often had to go out and could not return home at night.  His wife had to stay home alone.  Many of the young men fell in love with her and wanted to have sex, but they were all afraid they would get bitten by the snake and be killed.

One night while Uncle was away, a young man wanted to sleep with Uncle's wife so badly that he devised a plan to sleep with her without getting killed.  He and some friends went over to Uncle's house carrying a long thick rope.  They climbed on the roof, and tied one end of the rope around the man's waist and lowered him down into her room through the skylight.  This way, when the snake started to come out of her asshole, he could shout to the others to pull him back quickly, and not get bitten. 

Uncle's wife was very glad to see the young man.  They went to bed right away and started f_cking.  She was lying on her back.  While they were going at it, she was thinking, "My husband told me that all the men here have double penises, but it feels like this man has only one!"  So she reached her hand up from between and under her thighs, and started feeling to try to find a second penis.

When he felt her fingers moving up from behind, he yelled, "Pull!  Pull!  The snake is coming out!"  The men on the roof jerked the rope up so fast that the young man hit his head on the edge of the opening on the roof and broke his neck.

The next day, all the people in the village were talking about the man who got killed by Uncle's snake.  From then on, Uncle enjoyed his wife without interference from other visitors.




From:

The Tales of Aku Tompa: The Legendary Rascal of Tibet.  Retold and Translated by Rinjing Dorje.  San Rafael, CA: Dorje Ling.  1975.

The Tales of Aku Tompa: The Legendary Rascal of Tibet.  Retold and Translated by Rinjing Dorje.  Second Edition.  Barrytown, NY: Station Hill Arts, Institute for Publishing Arts, Inc.  1997.